anchar Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Hi all, Us Perthies have come up with this list...any one that wants to add to it, feel free and it will be edited in! How To Recognise an Aquarist 1. The driveway and side of the house is filled with styro boxes, rocks, wood etc. 2. There are little pockets of sand and gravel on the front lawn, the shed is crammed with old filter parts, breeding boxes, gravel, broken nets, cracked glass covers..and the tools and lawnmower are leaning against the wall outside 3. Their shoes are taped up with gaffer tape but they leave the LFS with a new Eheim 4. The blender now lives in the fish room 5. The pantry houses more food for the fish than for the human occupants 6. There are enough empty plant pots in the shed to start a new nursery 7. There is $1500.00 of precious limetone in the driveway and a power disconnection notice on the table 8. Their undies are full of holes but the new $80.00 piece of wood looks fantastic!! 9. They have AAE and AQIS on speed dial 10. The medicine cabinet if full of fish treatments 11. They can't go out to the party because there's a documentary on about the spawning behaviour of chromides 12. They cancel a dinner engagement at the last minute because their rams might spawn soon and they want to watch 13. Latin is the preferred language 14. Talk of "spitting" and "swallowing" is allowed at the dinner table 15. There isn't any freezer space left for human consumables 16. More emotion is shown at a fish death than the plight of the refugees 17. They notice that 1 out of 253 Uaru fry is missing but they have no idea what day it is 18. They can't hear their partner calling them, but can hear a splash from the back room 19. There are near empty bottles of 5 different brands of buffers and salts in the cupboard 20. There is a box of broken heaters stashed away for safe keeping in the linen cupboard 21. The different types of limestone in the shed have common names eg. cathedral rock, sandwich rock, lacey rock, holey rock etc. 22. There is silicone on every article of clothing owned 23. They don't notice the microworm smell till a visitor asks what the hell the stink is 24. Their kids eat black and gold raw oats whilst the microworms get Uncle Toby's rolled oats 25. They miss meals to pay for the new colony that they have ordered 26. Their partner can't find any extension cords, power paks or double adaptors but they know they bought new ones 27. When they turn off the power at their house, all the homes around them get a power surge 28. The fish shed is neater than the house 29. The only place to sit is on the floor 30. Verge side pickups become a mecca for "useful stuff" 31. The brakes are suddenly slammed on when a piece of poly pipe (read pleco home) is spotted along the freeway 32. Polygamy, threesomes and harems are acceptable 33. They wonder why the groceries cost so much, but don't mind forking out $600.00 for three fish 34. Pregnant women are referred to as "holding" 35. They travel all over town looking for the "perfect" shell 36. They can strip and repair a filter inside of 5 minutes blindfolded, but can't replace a light globe or washer 37. The fridge is full of brine shrimp and bloodworms in icecream containers 38. They can't hear the baby crying but sit up all night nursing a catfish 39. The warmest room in the house is the fishroom 40. There is always enough time to visit the LFS...but they didn't get round to picking up the kids 41. They consider that talking to fish is acceptable, but talking to other pets is odd 42. When a friend has a baby, they congratulate them on the spawning 43. They consider a tank of fish to be people 44. They have no problem doing waterchanges at 10:30pm or later even though it is not an emergency 45. They never have money for anything, but there's always money somewhere for fish 46. Their bookshelf is comprised exclusively of aquarium books 47. The favourites list in their web browser is comprised exclusively of aquarium links 48. It's hard to get to their bed, because of the tanks in the way 49. No one can understand why they have so many fish 50. There are a stack of net frames in a box...just in case they may be useful later 51. They have no trouble spelling Astatotilapia latifasciatus off the top of their head but need a dictionary for words like Wednesday 52. They find out that the spare room was actually built to house beds, not tanks 53. They nag all their neighbours for empty ice cream containers 54. Their sister can't find any of her hair lacky's 55. They worry more about how clean and tidy their tank is than their home 56. They spend more money on fish food and medicines than on their own shopping 57. They sit down in front of the TV to watch a new release movie and have to play it 4 times; they remember absolutely nothing of the movie except that in the last 12 hours, their shy catfish has shown its face for a total of 4 minutes 58. Ten minutes of watching television bores them stupid, but they'll stare into a fish tank for 3 hours without a break 59. All the kitchen jugs are scattered through the fish rooms 60. All the sharp kitchen knives are now blunt from cutting poly, wood, rock etc. 61. Tea spoons and desert spoons are bent out of shape 62. There are bags of pool salt in the driveway....and no pool 63. They can never find 2m of continuous airline, but there is about 20m worth of 30cm pieces 64. The bicarb has vanished from the pantry 65. The dogs & cats are allowed on the lounge/bed/arm-chairs/lap and in the car/dunny/bed...but not the "...bloody Fish-Room!!!!" 66. Guests are "escorted" into the Fish Room/Shed and told the details of your latest acquisition/spawning/release...like it or not!! 67. They spend three days bent over a never ending bucket of gravel - scrubbing the muck off of it 68. ...and then sit bent over the same 500 kg of gravel extracting the 2mm brown gravel from the 5mm white stones 69. They have enough left, but just want that little extra BIO-MEDIA for assurance 70. They continually ask their partner where the scissors are; even though they were the last to use them 71. They push through the pain barrier when lugging buckets of gravel, but complain all the way back to the car with the grocery bags 72. They have no idea what state Geelong is in, but can pin point a location on an unmarked Lake malawi shoreline map 73. When their partner yells "Where the hell is..." they have already left the room before hearing what the missing item is 74. There aren't any bag ties for the rubbish bags left in the drawer 75. The holes in the colander/sieve are blocked with gravel 76. There aren't any pot scourers on the kitchen sink, but there are 3 in the fish room, 2 in the loungeroom, 4 in the spare room and 9 in the garage 77. There are more Tupperware lids than containers in the cupboard 78. All the buckets have "Fish Bucket" written on them, including the replacement ones that their partner just bought 79. There are never any towels in the linen cupboard, but there are tons of them in the fish shed 80. Their partner goes to re-pot that house plant and finds an empty bag of peat and a crumpled up (empty) packet of fertiliser sticks 81. Their partner backs over a piece of wood on the lawn and they are more concerned about the broken wood than the staked tyre 82. They detected white spot on fry but didn't see the (now spilt) cup of tea on the floor 83. Their cook books include recipes for "Do It Yourself Fish Foods" 84. They re-arrange all the zucchinis in the fruit and veg section of the supermarket, ensuring that they choose the one with the least blemishes 85. They rush for a towel to clean up slops on the front glass, but sit and watch the bundy and coke soak into the carpet 86. The toilet bowl is stained because all the "CLR clear" was used on that second hand tank bargain 87. The second hand tank bargain ended up costing $30.00 more in "CLR clear" 88. They use silicon to fill holes in walls, seal gaskets in their car, plug up holes in shoes, fix the kid's Star Wars figure, as a substitute for tap washers, seal the bird bath..... 89. They see fish patterns on the lino in the loo at the local pub 90. They hear the word Veija used during a TV add for a Latin musical ensemble and suddenly become interested 91. The carpets in their car are littered with bits of rock, wood and "unextractable" beach sand 92. All the masonary drill bits are blunt from their use in creating limestone "rock art" 93. They can only be contacted via PM 94. Their kitchen tongs are missing after they were used to extract shells and coral from the boiling pot of water on the stove 95. They feel that it is never too cold or wet to collect limestone for that new set-up 96. They won't retrieve a football from the roof for fear of falling, but will confidently clamber around cliff faces in search of that elusive perfect rock 97. They drive back from the beach dragging the exhaust, but won't stop to offload any rock to relieve the burden 98. They are so lazy as to drive 150m to the corner shop for smokes, but will haul limestone for 12km back to the car without complaining 99. They replace an old tank fluoro on the same day, but the globe in the laundry has been blown for 7 months 100. They walk out of Spotlight with more dacron than an upholster would use in a year 101. They constitute the largest majority of both in and out patients at Graylands 102. Their kids warn friends; "Don't even look at the tanks. Don't say anything about them, he will see your interested and you won't be able to get away from him, for hours" 103. Second freezer is for the normal/people food 104. A marinara dinner consists of the food that the fish reject 105. There are no ice cube trays in the freezer, well none that actually have ice in them 106. Their protable generator has its oil changed on a two monthly basis, just in case, but their car is still only 3000km overdue 107. Their water changes take only six hours each week. (Oh and next week they promise that they will get around to installing the dishwasher) 108. Their garden lawn is barren, except for where the hose from the tanks waterchanges reaches; there the lawn is lush and green 109. Their partner yells everytime they have a shower because it has an inch of sand on the floor of the recess (ok, ok...I'll clean it up now..... ) 110. They wiill only date someone of the star sign of Pisces 111. You are happy to spend $500 on a new tank, but only $5 on something for the kids 112. They have a jar of recycled elastic bands 113. There are corresponding piles of used fish bags shoved in drawers, the pantry, on shelves... 114. Buckets are a main decorative feature in the living room 115. Their friends, who are into fish, use them as tech support 116. Their idea of a holiday is visiting the third world countries, so that they can see where their favourite fish come from 117. They constantly complain about bent nets or holes in nets, but can't justify the price to replace them (even though there is always money for fish) 118. They join a fish forum and realise that they are already friends with nearly all the members 119. They've lost more money in fish that have died than they've spent on any other hobby (drinking is a hobby) 120. While watching Amazon documentaries, they impatiently wait for cutscenes to what's living beneath the water and not the bird on the shore line 121. During said documentary, they can identify the fish that the birds are eating, but haven't a clue what type of bird it is 122. Word association always leads to fish somehow eg. Africa - Malawi -"Malawi cichlids", Brazil - Amazon - "Amazonian cichlids) 123. A trip into the city is now boring to them because Perth CBD doesn't have fish stores 124. Their wallets are bursting with LFS business cards and the pics. of the kids have been relocatted to the bedside drawer 125. They would rather be broke and have those fancy fish, then have money and "common" fish 126. They wonder why there are so many flies in the house during summer and mosquitos during winter, then realise that they used the fly wire on the door for making fry savers 127. When they come home and notice there is white spot, it causes more mental damage than when they walk in on their parents going at it 128. Phrases like.."What do you mean you want a bath? Where's the driftwood gonna go ? Have a shower instead...what buckets in the shower ?" are commonly heard in their house 129. There's one day every week, where they walk into a room and the carpet goes "squelch squelch squelch" 130. They can't sleep at someone else's house because without the bubbling and humming noises, it is too quiet 131. They somehow have over 50 appliances running from one wall socket 132. Their shelves look like a chemist shop drug display 133. The people in the shop give them strange looks when they purchase several large bore syringes along with 2 tons of aquarium stuff 134. When going through the grocery bill they notice that the most they spent on 'human food' was $4.95, but for the fish it was $12.95 (zucchini) 135. They cause a 10 car pile up when they slam on the brakes to checkout a roadside council limestone dump merjo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fixem Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 58. Ten minutes of watching television bores them stupid, but they'll stare into a fish tank for 3 hours without a break TG I found this one, I thought it was just me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stagfest Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 MUHAHAHAHHAHAH... hahahahahahha oh my that's hillarious...!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 it's funny cause it's true! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fins Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Merjo, We have never met, but you know me so well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TropheusQueen Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 My life in point form. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter_Gun_Riff Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 should add has constantly have wet sleves lol you never seem to roll them up enough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teamsherman Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 that is the most true example of fish keepers i have ever read...Good stuff. My favourite was the "They can only be contacted via PM" Love it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graceless Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 i am happy that i only own 10 or so of these characteristics thus far - i can still work undercover this is a bloody awesome list. thanks so much for sharing. it had me laughing a lot. Grace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ducksta Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 I would have read them all, but I have water changes to do... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mezzacam Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 lol, good stuff.... what a great laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 G'day I have tears rolling down my face, I could hardly see the next point I was laughing so much. 101. Unable to contact them via their home telephone (Line busy on ACE), have to PM them first requesting they log off. 102. Kids warn their friends, "Don't even look at the tanks. Don't say anything about them, he will see your interested and you won't be able to get away from him, for hours" - True story! Just prior to walking into the house with a new friend from school LOL 103. Second freezer is for the normal/people food. 104. A marinara dinner consists of the food that the fish reject (Thanks Jess) 105. No ice cube trays in the freezer, well none that actually have ice in them. 106. The protable generator has its oil changed on a two monthly basis, just in case, but the car is still only 3000 overdue. 107. The water changes take only six hours each week. Oh and next week I promise that I will get around to installing the dishwasher. 108. The garden lawn is barren, except for where the hose from the tanks waterchanges reachers, there the lawn is lush and green. (Just finnished nightshift, but I am sure someone will tidy these up. Well they seemed kinda funny after a nightshift ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anchar Posted July 21, 2004 Author Share Posted July 21, 2004 ahaha thanks guys....keep 'em coming....just thought of another one... 110. Partner yells everytime they have a shower cos it has an inch of sand on the floor of the recess (ok, ok...I'll clean it up now..... ) merjo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ant Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 well sorry but half of that list doesn't include me....hehe... i got a good one: 111: Will only date someone of the star sign of Pisces My girl friend is Pisces Anthony Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattLeasegang Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 112. You are happy to spend $500 on a new tank, but only $5 on something for the kids. -Matt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anchar Posted July 22, 2004 Author Share Posted July 22, 2004 Ok these have all been added ..keep them coming! merjo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattLeasegang Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 127. comming home to notice your tank with white spot causes more mental damage then walking in on your parents going at it -Matt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Morelia Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 I have a few.... 128. "What do you mean you want a bath ? Where's the driftwood gonna go ??? "Have a shower instead"..... "What buckets in the shower ???" 129. There's one day every week, where you walk into your room and the carpet goes "Squelch squelch squelch" 130. You can't sleep at night because of all the airpumps. 131. You somehow have over 50 appliances running from one wall socket. 132. Your Bookshelves look like a chemist shop 133. The people in the shop give you strange looks when you by several large bore syringes along with 2 tons of Aquarium stuff. This was all i could think of Cheers, Andy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davez104 Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 131. You somehow have over 50 appliances running from one wall socket. LOL I have had friends who are firefighters that just shake thier heads in dissmay when the see the half dozen power boards + double adaptors all running from one point. There are quite a few others in that list that I resemble, but we won't just go into that right now. Dave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 G'day 132. When going through the grocery bill you notice that the most you spent on 'human food' was $4.95, but for the fish it was $12.95 (zucchini). (true story, happened yesterday ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anchar Posted July 25, 2004 Author Share Posted July 25, 2004 added merjo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 G'day 133. A simple walk along the beach results in bulging pockets, from the sea shells destined for the 'Tang tank'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gswalker Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 Some very very funny ones. and some very very sad ones haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D6C1 Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 How did I ever miss this one!!! LOL NICE!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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